omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
