i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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