Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
