Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
