Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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