I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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