So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
