I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
