He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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