apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I want her autograph on my taint
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize