Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
