apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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