I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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