that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
