i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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