who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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