Define "chronic" masturbator.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
