but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
