people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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