i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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