You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
