Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
