This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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