You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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