Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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