but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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