i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
