new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
you never un-have a 4some
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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