Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
