you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
