i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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