i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
