All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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