Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
