Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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