I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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