wanna go halves on a baby?
This girl is more easily done than said...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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