Don't you send me to vm
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
