My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
whose parrot is this?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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