even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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