The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
