There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
