the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
