It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
