I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
