Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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