Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
