Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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