Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
