I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
