Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
