I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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