I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
