it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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