Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
