i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
