Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
