I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
