and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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