After last night, I could never be a politician.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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