So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
