So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I need to calm my uterus...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
