Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Too much gin, very little bucket
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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