Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
