In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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