Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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