And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
