just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
