All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
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