The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
How does one acquire holy water?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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