singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think my moral compass just broke
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