she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
