Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize