Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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