Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
