now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
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