Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
third nipple confirmed
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
